Could The Absent Ear be Glasgow's best kept secret?

It’s the bar that’s renamed the city GlasGogh. But, will you be able to find it? The Absent Ear is so far Glasgow’s best-kept secret. It’s a sassy little drinking den with artful, theatrically crafted cocktails that invite imbibers to ‘git in ear’. We have the lowdown on the subterranean speakeasy — although naturally, we won’t be disclosing all of its secrets…

One of the top cocktail bars in the UK

The Absent Ear is the work of the kinds of people who prefer to do things differently — much like the bar’s muse, Dutch post-impressionist painter Vincent Van Gogh (if you hadn’t guessed its name is a reference to the artist’s missing body part). It’s quite possibly the reddest bar you’ll ever enter (in part thanks to some rouge coloured lighting) and one of the most creative. Everything here is peppered with imagination — for example, the coasters feature original art and have been cut from a single canvas created in the bar itself.

The Absent Ear arrived in Merchant City (that’s as far as our location clues will go for now) midway through 2021. It should have been a relatively easy ride, in what at that point appeared to be a near post-pandemic climate. But as Omicron reared its ugly head, the Christmas and New Year period took on a new kind of ‘20s prohibition period. Yet despite enduring hospitality’s slew of last-minute cancellations and no-shows, the bar has remained successful. So much so, it’s been recognised with an inclusion on the UK’s Top 50 Cocktail Bars list, rating it one of the best places to drink in the country.

Mesmerising mixes

The drinks here are a feast for the eyes and a party for the tastebuds. Here are some examples of the kind of recipes we’ve spotted on the menu:

The Campfire: Whisk(e)y, Cassia, Sherry, Cold Brew, Maple, Black Walnut and a locally made Marshmallow that’s torched over your drink at the table.

The Carrot and Coriander Mary: (this one is served in a soup terrine with veggie garnish and a lid) Carrot, Coriander, Galangal, Amontillado Sherry, MSG, Tamari, your spirit of choice and some other secret ingredients.

Tiramisu Flip: Diplomatico Dark Rum, Cherry, Coffee, Chocolate, Biscoff and an egg.
Figue Squared: (this one comes with a small piece of original artwork handmade by the in-house team) Your choice of selected spirit, Fig, a Fig leaf, Dry vermouth, Cumin, Benedictine and Rosemary.

The Zaiquiri (named after a friend of the owner, a bon vivant cocktail quaffer from New Zealand): Bacardi Carta Blanca, Husk Agricole, Yellow Chartreuse, grapefruit, lime, galangal and sage oil. The Can Can: No.3 Gin, Peach three-ways, Makrut Lime, Fino Honey, Absent Ear Acid (a low-carbon alternative to citrus juice) and Fizz.

Oranje Tan: (this one is styled like a vase of Amsterdam’s finest tulips)
Choose from a range of selected spirits, plus Suze, Orange Lact-Oleo, Amaro, Leith Distillery’s Oloroso, Plum Sake, Absent Ear Acid and Soda.

Tart’nTropical: Choose from Vodka, Tropical Porter’s Gin, or Aquavit, plus Kleos Greek Mastiha, Amaro Montenegro, banana, lime two ways, and Moroccan preserved lemon. Tart’nTropical comes garnished with rice paper Monstera leaf, tartan brolly and a hand-sculpted sand castle stand).

Dutch-inspired treats

The menu frequently changes, so expect to be surprised. And it’s not only the menu receiving regular overhauls. Ensuring the venue is in tip-top condition, further refurbishments have been carried out at the start of 2022, this time working on making the bathrooms beautiful spaces.

And the bartenders’ skills don’t end with liquid recipes. Should you fancy a nibble with your beverage, you can order The Stroopwafel. The Absent Ear’s own take on the well-loved Dutch sweet treat, this version has been developed by one of the talented team members. It’s served with a choice of three toppings, which can include vegan bacon, cheese, and buffalo.

The presentation of the libations here is unlike anything you’ll encounter in the city, maybe even in Scotland. Garnishes are hand-painted, sculpted, carved, baked and drawn, all designed in-house, to create a bespoke, breathtaking experience for each and every patron. It’s not just fancy booze. It’s art. And you need to experience it for yourself in 2022. Just book online with Dish Cult and you’ll receive an email giving you access to the venue’s secret location. Once you know where to find The Absent Ear, we’re sure you’ll be back time and again. There are just too many incredible cocktails to be sampled.

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